I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
