Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Less talking, more tequila
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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