Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
He shit in the fireplace
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
