I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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