my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I currently don't understand fingers.
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