I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
