Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize