listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I party with great urgency now.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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