as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
