Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
