Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
