these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
