I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
