turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
