You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
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I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
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being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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