she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
