hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
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There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
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I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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