His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
