one two three fourrrrnication!
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
