No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
so let's talk penis.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
