I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Your penis caused this!
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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