Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Randomize
