At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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