Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
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