You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
