i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
jump out the window naked night went bad
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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