My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
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