I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
