Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
