i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Randomize
