Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
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