I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
