sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Randomize
