Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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