It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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