I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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