last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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