I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
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All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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