Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
