My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
this hospital has no fireball
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
