he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Randomize
