I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
