i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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