I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize