i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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