i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize