I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
tonight lets celebrate not being married
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
