I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
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I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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