Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
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You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
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Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
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