have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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