i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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