In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize