She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
