you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Randomize
