it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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