Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize