is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize