dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
