so that wasnt chicken after all
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
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