So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
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