question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Randomize
