No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
