Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
